Understanding Suicide: An Informational Series [PART I]

Understanding Suicide An Informational  Series

Part 1: Introduction

Introduction

Suicide is a word that can be immediately triggering for some individuals since it can stir up grief, fear, anxiety and pain. For these very reasons, it is critical that we understand the causes of suicide and the means that we have at our disposal to prevent it.

Additionally we must understand various ways in which suicidality may present or show up in others. To accomplish this, we  first start by identifying those who are at an increased risk. Secondly, we must develop an understanding of ideation and the symptoms and occurrences that may prompt suicidality.

To demonstrate the severity of suicide, consider the fact that almost half of all Americans have known someone who has died from suicide, as it is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States (Feigelman et al., 2018).

Suicide is a DIRE public health issue and anyone can be affected by symptoms. However, the first high risk group that has been identified is white middle aged males  (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 2018). 

The next high-risk group is women of color who are low income, single, prior victims of intimate partner violence (IPV), who have minimal education that ended prior to 12th grade (Alhusen, Frohman & Purcell, 2015). This demographic is at even higher risk if they are or were pregnant while experiencing domestic violence. In fact, more than half of all pregnancy associated suicides involve IPV that served as a catalyst to the woman’s suicide or attempt (Alhusen, Frohman & Purcell, 2015).

Finally, clients and individuals who suffer from schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder and depression are also at higher risk for becoming suicidal due to the symptoms and triggers of their mental health conditions.

As clinicians in mental health interact with several client cases involving instances of IPV, Schizophrenia, borderline, depression and bi-polar diagnoses, it is very important to conduct ongoing screening and assessment for suicidal ideation in clients who fit these risk level categories. This will allow clients to be reached wherever they are and provide direction for where to begin in the process of prevention within their treatment. 

As families of loved ones who experience or battle suicidal ideation, the biggest question that is often asked is WHY? Why do our loved one’s feel driven towards suicide? To understand this better we must understand that there are different types of suicide and different levels of ideation.

Join us tomorrow for part 2 in our psychoeducational series Understanding Suicide.

If you or a loved one is considering suicide, you are NOT alone. Please get help today! Help IS available and your life is worth it. 

Suicide & Crisis Prevention Lifeline: Call or text 988, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. https://988lifeline.org/

Tips To Mentally Prepare For The Coming Week

Preparing yourself mentally for the week ahead is essential to ensure that you stay focused, motivated, and productive. Taking some time to plan, prioritize, and practice self-care can help you approach the upcoming week with a positive mindset and the energy to tackle any challenges that come your way.

Here are ten things you can do to prepare yourself mentally for the week ahead.

1. Plan your schedule: Create a schedule for the upcoming week. Decide what tasks and activities you need to do and when you will do them.

2. Prioritize tasks: Determine the most important tasks for the week and plan to complete them first.

3. Practice self-care: Take time to practice self-care activities that help you relax and recharge, such as taking a warm bath, reading a book, or meditating.

4. Get organized: Spend some time decluttering your work or living space, so that you can start the week with a clear mind.

5. Exercise: Physical activity can help boost your mood and energy levels, so consider incorporating exercise into your routine.

6. Set goals: Set realistic goals for the week and write them down to help you stay focused and motivated.

7. Get enough sleep: Prioritize getting enough rest to ensure that you feel refreshed and alert throughout the week.

8. Reflect on past achievements: Reflect on your past achievements to boost your confidence and remind yourself of your capabilities.

9. Practice positive affirmations: Use positive affirmations to help you stay positive and motivated throughout the week.

10. Connect with loved ones: Spend time with friends or family to help you feel connected and supported.

Understanding Imago Therapy & Relationship Dialogue

Imagine struggling for days, weeks, months or even years of feeling invisible in your partnership, marriage or family despite always trying to voice your concerns. Imagine feeling more and more distant from your relationship as the space between you fills up with all the things you both never say to each other. 

Imagine if there was a way to allow you both to enter into one another’s world in order to become fully present and aware of the different perspectives that govern and lead you each internally. 

The GREAT news is that there absolutely is a way to accomplish this; Imago Therapy.

Imago dialogue is a unique modality frequently utilized in couples therapy although it may also be used with families, colleagues and friends. Imago Therapy differs from many forms of therapy in that it presents as a highly structured technique and the use of very specific language, verbiage and a physical component.

Partners or dyads are directed to physically turn and face each other for the duration of their dialogues or discussion. Next they each take turns communicating in this dynamic and connective way.

As both partners face one another, one person acts as the receiver or listener, while the other is the sender or speaker who is communicating their perspectives, thoughts or feelings on a particular topic or issue ongoing within the relational dyad. There are three stages to Imago Dialogue which include the following:

First, to initiate the conversation, the speaker can be encouraged to verbally, audibly invite the listener into their interpersonal world, though this is not always possible or required depending on the situation or topic being addressed.

1. Mirroring: Repeating out loud what the speaker has said verbatim, word for word without modifying, paraphrasing, challenging or interpreting.

Example

Speaker: 

“I feel invisible and powerless when I’m not included in major household decisions.”

Receiver: “So what you’ve said is that you feel invisible and powerless when I don’t include you in major household decisions, is that right or is there more?”

When mirroring, it can be useful to add the question, “Is there more?” in case the speaker needs to elaborate upon their thoughts or perspective further. If so, the receiver or listener can simply mirror step by step until the speaker has concluded their discussion.

1. Validation: Acknowledging the ways in which you understand how and why the speaker may feel what they’ve expressed.

Validation does not mean you must agree, it simply means that you must acknowledge that your partner has a right to express, feel and differ in their opinion and still be respected and given the space and opportunity to do so.

Example

Receiver: I can see why/how you might feel powerless and it makes sense because…”

In validation, if there are parts of what your partner has expressed that you don’t understand or that you have questions about, you can add a comment such as: “Please tell me more about… I want to understand this part also.”

1. Empathy: Considering what the speaker might feel or think as a result of what they have expressed.

Example

Receiver: “I imagine that you might feel ignored or unappreciated because of this.”

Once one person has gone through all 3 of the steps and their perspective has been truly heard and recognized through this dialogue, then both partners trade positions, where the speaker becomes the listening partner, and the listener becomes the speaking partner, in order to establish an equal exploration of perspectives.

Due to this technique being highly structured, and scripted, it may feel odd or awkward to verbalize at first. However, many couples benefit tremendously from it because it allows them to slow down their communicative processes and truly venture into the world of their partner and vice versa. Imago allows two people to genuinely connect and witness presence and patience for their partner throughout difficult discussions and topics that tend to lead to arguments and misunderstandings that arise due to an inability to recognize or acknowledge the other person’s thoughts an

With Imago, clients can also work on parts of the dialogue independently as they work through difficult conversations and topics with inert depth. For example validation may need to be a focus for a partner expressing an opinion or thought that has been rejected or denied by their partner.

Imago dialogue can also be transformed and remodeled for specific conversations such as appreciation dialogues, parent child dialogues and more depending on your level of experience and understanding of the technique.

While Imago is often used as a communication tool, it can help dyads accomplish so much more through time and sufficient practice. Better connections, deeper understanding and improved intimacy can become commonplace with ongoing Imago dialogue conversations. 

If you and your partner, friend, loved one or colleague are struggling to understand one another or connect your differing perspectives, then working with a therapist who utilizes Imago Therapy may be useful for you to improve your communication and connectivity. Don’t stay lost in translation and confusion, use Imago to find your way towards each other and give yourselves a chance to finally hear and see each other again.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder & ADHD

Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD is a common diagnosis assigned to children who are typically seen in the mental health field or involved with social services. It is characterized by the exhibition of blatant defiance and vindictiveness towards authority figures or caregivers.

Symptoms of ODD may include:

• Frequent temper tantrums

• Excessive arguing with adults

• Often questioning rules

• Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules

• Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people

• Blaming others for their mistakes or misbehavior

• Often being touchy/sensitive or easily annoyed by others

• Frequent anger and resentment

• Mean and hateful/(vindictive) talking when upset

• Spiteful attitude and revenge-seeking for perceived wrongs 

Often ODD is commonly accompanied by an ADHD(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) diagnosis although it can also co-occur with depression or anxiety. 

ADHD symptoms predominantly include symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness that are not consistent with the developmental stage of the child or adolescent. This may present through any of the following behaviors:

• Difficulty concentrating/frequently distracted

• Difficulties listening for expected time periods

• Difficulty remaining seated or still

• Frequent forgetfulness

• Messiness/disorganization

• Reluctance towards activities involving prolonged mental activity

• Excessively talking, running, jumping, or climbing when not appropriate

• Often interrupts or intrudes upon others

• Difficulty taking turns or waiting appropriately

• Frequent fidgeting or moving of hands and feet

• Impulsive/inability to control or resist reckless behavior or thoughts

It is important to remember that while these children and adolescents can be difficult to work with, at times violent, explosive, and reluctant to trust others, particularly those in any position of authority over them; they are not bad children or people.

ODD is fairly common in adolescents, in fact, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (ACAP), estimates that 1-16% of all children and adolescents have been diagnosed with ODD. Keep in mind that children involved with social services may come from broken homes, foster care, residential care, or group homes after possibly being exposed to neglect or various forms of abuse. They often lack the structure, stability, discipline, prosocial behaviors, emotional intelligence, impulse control, and caregiving necessary to engage in less destructive behavior patterns naturally. If they are grappling with ADHD, Anxiety, or depression symptoms in addition to or as the result of these circumstances, they will not always be able to adequately voice their concerns and feelings appropriately. This is generally due to an inability to know how to communicate, understand or recognize the symptoms that may further prompt the behavioral responses often witnessed in ODD. 

Frustrations, anxieties, resentment, and depression can develop in these adolescents based on different events occurring in their lives depending on their environment and social relationships with peers, teachers, and family members. Often psychological traumas may be occurring also with children involved in social services. For others dealing with ADHD, frustrations may lie in not understanding their inability to focus despite multiple demands for attention during school and other environments.

Working with a therapist who is skilled in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and CBT(Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) can be helpful in working to increase their tolerance and understanding of difficult emotions or distress tolerance, exploring and challenging negative thoughts, engaging in grounding, practice mindfulness, practice emotional regulation and processing.

It can be admittedly difficult for parents raising a child with an ODD diagnosis and even more challenging if there is a dual diagnosis of ADHD as well. A plethora of patience is necessary for engaging with adolescents suffering from the symptoms of ODD and ADHD, but when you’re ready, with a clinician you and your child trust, you can begin a journey to establishing more positive behaviors and developing a better understanding of your child. You can also help your child develop more inner peace and learn to better communicate their internal struggle so that you can provide the best support to them.

Recognizing Triggers

We hear the phrase, “I was triggered,” but how do we truly understand what it means? When we hear this, it’s typically related to trauma experiences. Did you know that traumatic experiences can have long-lasting effects that manifest over time through senses such as a sound, smell, sight, or feeling that reminds us on a subconscious level of what we experienced? 

When this happens, it can look and sound different for every single person. For example, post-war veterans can experience triggering flashbacks on the 4th of July holiday from the sounds of explosions created by fireworks. When triggering happens, the brain loses the ability to distinguish between the trauma of the past and linear present time. In other words, just like the example, veterans lose sight of the fact that they aren’t actually back in past action, but rather they become overstimulated by the brain’s flight or fight response as adrenaline and cortisol flood their body and the feelings of panic and fear return. 

This is why triggering can cause physiological symptoms to occur within the body such as an elevated heart rate, sweating, difficulty breathing, crippling anxiety or a panic attack. Triggering can also appear as an explosion of uncontrollable emotional reactivity.

Although we’ve discussed how veterans might get triggered due to post war trauma, triggering can happen to anyone who has experienced any form of trauma. Often when this happens the person experiencing the trigger doesn’t understand what they’re feeling, or why. They also won't have control over their actions during this time.

It’s important to know that in interactions where you experience heightened sensitivity, explosive reactivity, increased heart rate or blood pressure, shallow or difficult breathing, panic or anxiety– these are signs you’re in a reactive triggered state. 

Recognizing triggers can help you better understand and control them in the future. When you feel these symptoms, disengage in a way that works for you. Try a breathing exercise or some of the coping techniques discussed here. When you feel calm and your breathing returns to normal, consider and write down what you were talking about or doing when the moment occurred, for example, consider if you smelled something that reminded you of your grandmother’s freshly baked cookies which triggers your grief about her passing away, or did you hear a sound that brought you back to a childhood memory, long since forgotten? Try to capture this incident and then when you’re ready, schedule a session with your therapist or talk to someone you trust about what happened if you want to explore it further.

Do your best to communicate with others so that they are aware of topics or interactions that you know might trigger you. This can help your family and friends to better help you. It will also help you begin to track and gain more control over these moments so that you can start your path towards a better quality of life.

Self Disclosure In Mental Health Counselling. Should You Use It?

Self disclosure can be both encouraged and discouraged in the practice of therapy. It can be inappropriate when too much personal information is shared that could cause discomfort to the client. It can also be incredibly useful with discretion, when used to help a client establish and build connectivity and rapport or feel relatable. 

For example, sharing that you have children is an example of self disclosure that is harmless and appropriate. Clients who also have children will then develop more of a connection through their knowledge that you must certainly understand and recognize some of their personal experiences with parenting and relative child rearing. This can be useful when exploring any familial dynamic with these clients as well as determining the status of the parent and child relationship. 

Less appropriate examples of self disclosure could be providing details of your own personal romantic relationships with your clients, your political views, or any controversial topics that may delve into deeper aspects of your personal life and choices. While sharing some of this information may have good intentions, it can present as unethical depending on the depth of your disclosure and the effect it has on the client. 

Clients could judge you or become uncomfortable or disapprove of your personal choices or actions. 

When it comes to making your decision to disclose or not to, a key rule of thumb is to only do so in an effort to serve the needs of the client. For example, in order to aid in the process of validation and safety for clients in session, you may disclose that you too have experienced or felt a similar emotion or thought in order to normalize the client’s emotional expression and encourage the progression of further exploration and processing. 

For example, a client could state: "I HATE cancer! Such a horrible thing shouldn't even exist!" As the therapist you might self disclose by providing your own similar frustrations with cancer by replying something such as: "I completely agree, I have personally witnessed cancer truly impact the lives of a few of my friends and it is increasingly frustrating to me to know that there is still no cure!"

Doing this, allows the opportunity to establish a better connection with the client in addition to gaining more of their trust that you will be accepting of their future vulnerabilities. In this way, self disclosure serve as a means of positively reinforcing the exchange and development of emotional reactions, with a clientele that typically struggles with avoidance, suppression or an inability to express themselves due to anxieties, trauma or fear of rejection. 

Overall, self disclosure can be a useful tool that certainly deserves space in the therapy room when used professionally with caution, ethicality and discretion; while aimed at the goal of the provision of effective client based interactions.

Stonewalling & Contempt

Have you ever been so fed up, hurt and disconnected from someone you love, that you just gave up fighting for the relationship? Have you felt demeaned, disrespected, put down or sarcastically attacked when you argue AND even when you don't? If so, chances are you're dealing with CONTEMPT in your relationship. 

Dr. John Gottman describes contempt as treating others in our relationship as nasty as we can by disrespecting, name calling, ridiculing, dismissing and displaying other non verbal communications that are designed to hurt and provoke (Gottman Institute, 2023).

In fact, when people are engaged in contemptuous relationships and interactions, they are even more likely to be receptive to infectious illnesses like colds, viruses and flus! Things literally get NASTY on a biological and physiological level! Most importantly if you find contempt in your marriage, consider the fact that it alone is THE single greatest predictor of divorce.

It's incredibly difficult to deal with being disrespected without adding fuel to a well consuming fire. What often happens as a result is that we tend to start walking away, ignoring or completely emotionally & physically disconnecting from the relationship. We stop talking all together and we shut down. This is what Gottman describes as STONEWALLING. 

When we have contempt & stonewalling in our relationships we can easily reach the brink of no return. Things are said that cause irreparable ongoing damage, push people away and cast doubt on the connection. A space is established, and it grows and grows between us until we are far enough apart that we can no longer recognize one another or even remember how to reach each other.

There is hope if you have contempt & stonewalling in your relationships. You absolutely CAN counteract BOTH with the following antidotes described by Gottman. 

First, the antidote to contempt starts with taking the time to appreciate the positive qualities in the other person. Obviously the relationship exists for plenty of reasons, try to remind yourself of what these reasons are routinely. Have gratitude for these qualities and consider them the next time contempt brews up in your heart. No one is perfect and you must remember to always extend grace, since you most likely have also made mistakes. Expressing gratitude and appreciation rather than contempt, can make the difference between pushing someone away forever or breaking a negative cycle that truly allows you to connect.

Next, the antidote for stonewalling is simple. When you're emotionally overwhelmed, fed up and tired of arguing, you understandably may begin to feel like you just want to disconnect completely. This is your mind's way of clueing you in that a break is necessary from all the stress and tension. 

So take one!

Be sure to audibly communicate that you're going to take a break so that your intentions are understood beforehand. You don't need permission but rather you want to make sure you're voicing your needs aloud, rather than allowing the other person to make assumptions that could add to the conflict. This can be as simple as a statement like:

"I'm sorry but this interaction is too much for me right now. I need to go for a drive to clear my head. I'll be back in an hour and if we're both calm, we can continue this discussion."

Go for a drive, a walk or a run if that's more your speed. Break away to do any new, less stressful activity for a bit. It's important to let your psyche rest, breathe and relax from stress to give yourself a chance to discover how you feel inside and what you might need to say. It's also important to consider how you might be able to communicate your thoughts and emotions in a more productive and healthy way. This allows you to be heard. So when you're ready, after your break, GO BACK and in your calmer state try again to communicate and connect.

Remember, using these antidotes can make the difference between a relationship ending forever or beginning a road to the connective restoration you truly desire and deserve. So the next time you find yourself thinking contemptuous thoughts; instead PLEASE practice extending gratitude and grace. Take breaks when things get too intense and work to stop avoiding, ignoring, and dismissing the elephant in the room with the silent treatment or hasty retreats. 

Although it doesn't happen overnight; being conscientious of contempt and stonewalling combined with genuine efforts to engage the antidotes can have a positive impact on every relationship in your life. 

Coping in a world of chaos.

The world has faced a daunting shift since the dawn of the pandemic of COVID-19. We have seen racial disparities, brutal police killings, school shootings, mass shootings, general upheaval, and unrest throughout the country with no end. All over the world people are fighting for the right to live peacefully. We've witnessed 50-year-old laws like Roe Vs. Wade overturned, sparking fears of further national divides in the US. Wars brewing in Ukraine, citizens getting killed for moral and religious exemplifications in Iran and the list goes on endlessly.

In the midst of it all, the mental health crisis has risen to an all-time high with Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD at the forefront of clinical diagnoses for people worldwide.

In these dark times of uncertainty, how can we find peace? How can we strive to move forward and connect? How do we learn to use our voices to self-advocate without stifling the voices of one another? How do we learn to disagree without  conflict?

As a therapist, let me share some tools to aid you in finding some of the answers.

1. LISTENING 

Listen with your whole heart; without judgment, criticisms, or personal interpretations, when you're communicating and connecting with those who have perspectives that differ from your own.

It is okay to have differences of opinion and to RESPECTFULLY voice them without contributing to escalations that can cause chaos or disruptions in relationships.

Listening to hear versus listening to respond can help you truly gain insight and understanding in these situations and further avoid tensions, confusion, and miscommunication.

2. SELF CARE

Self-care is critical during times of emotionality and heightened stress. It is important that you have your own individual and personal time to get a breather from things and boost your mental status through positive activities you enjoy. Go see a movie, have a massage one day each week, or eat your favorite meal with your favorite person. Do something every week and if you have time, every day to honor yourself and your personal needs. Caring for yourself MUST come first before you can tackle anything else you hold responsibilities for.

3. PROCESSING 

With everything going on in the world even watching or reading the news can become overwhelming and triggering. You might experience a wealth of emotional reactions or responses to things you never even knew you had issues with. Just know that whatever you feel is real and completely valid. Allow yourself the time to take a break and genuinely think through the feeling rather than dismissing or suppressing it. Consider how whatever you're feeling connects with different situations you've experienced in your life and strive to better understand yourself and your emotional needs to be addressed or healed. Journal or write about it, call a friend to vent, or go workout to help yourself process and truly feel whatever comes up, even if it is a difficult topic. By processing what we feel we can allow space for emotions without them consuming us.

4. COMMUNICATION OF TRIGGERS

When you learn about a traumatic event or experience it, there are a lot of different things that can happen in the moment.

Your nervous system becomes activated and adrenaline pulses through your system provoking your "flight or fight" response. You might cry or become intently angry or even freeze in a state of shock. Your heart may race, you might sweat, panic, or experience other symptoms.

The first step is to recognize what you are feeling in your body. Listen to your heart and breathing and work towards regulating these first by taking deep breaths in and out while audibly counting with each exhale/inhale, i.e. deep breath in, hold for 2 seconds, and then release, count aloud the number 1, then repeat. This is a breathing exercise.

You may also try the "butterfly hug" method by interlocking your thumbs across your chest and gently tapping your fingertips to your chest in an alternating pattern, i.e left tap followed by a right tap. Alternatively, you may also simply cross your arms as shown below.

When you feel calmer and your breathing is regular, it's time to talk to someone about what happened and what you're feeling as a result of the trauma. Call a friend or family member you trust or schedule an appointment with a therapist.

Communicating that you've been triggered can help you understand yourself better as you explore the root causes behind what you're feeling and what you've experienced. Moving forward you will also know more about topics and related areas to avoid or that could cause later reactive responses or triggers in the future and you can share this with those closest to you as well.

This list is not exhaustive but is a start to helping to improve some coping skills as you endure uncertainty in the world and everyday chaos. Keep them in mind the next time you're feeling overwhelmed with the weight of the world.

Defensiveness & Criticism

Do you often get the feeling that you're under attack? Do you feel like sometimes in your relationships, you are always being blamed?

OR...

Do you find yourself repeating the same conversations over and over again in your relationships yet you still feel like you just aren't being heard? 

It's hard to feel heard and understood when you're attempting to communicate your side of things and aren't being recognized or when you feel attacked.

The good news is, you are NOT alone!

Plenty of people experience communication difficulties that often lead to arguments and disconnection due to two common issues, criticism and defensiveness.

First, let's talk about criticism. According to Dr. John Gottman, criticisms are typically described as surmounted resentment and negative feelings that shift towards assigning blame to another person for their perceived mistakes (Gottman Institute, 2023).

Now let's consider defensiveness for a moment. Whenever we feel attacked, rather than consider if there is any truth to the chief complaint against us, we feel inclined to defend our honor and fight back.

Let's look at an example of what the combination of defensiveness and criticism could sound like in action. Consider the following scenario:

Mark and Devin are brothers. They've recently gotten much closer and have decided to get together every Sunday at a sports bar of their choice to watch whoever is playing football over a few drinks.

Mark is a thinker and he loves to always stay one step ahead. So, he plans and schedules all these get-togethers, always ensuring that he's considerate of Devin's travel distance, work schedule, and other events he has planned or upcoming.

Devin is a fun lover who is spontaneous and loves to go in whatever direction life takes him. Occasionally he will change plans at the spur of the moment because he loves to mix things up.

This week Mark has planned for him and Devin to go to a great new vegan sports grill he found in consideration of Devin's recent and sudden dietary shift to veganism a few weeks ago. Monday night after work, Mark researched and called 8 different places to find this spot. Even though it took some time and despite Mark being a dedicated meat eater who LOVES his T-bone steaks, he's willing to try anything once as long as he's doing it with his brother.

Also, for the past few weeks, work has been particularly stressful, so he is truly looking forward to enjoying the Sunday games and having some great laughs with Devin.

This same week on Thursday, Devin gets an unexpected invitation from Daniel, an acquaintance, from work, to physically go to this Sunday's game. The tickets are for seats on the 50-yard line! Devin hasn't been to a game in 3 years so he knows he can't miss this opportunity. He decides to cancel with Mark since he can always just go out with him next Sunday. He starts to draft Mark a text message, but his boss approaches him and assigns him a new task to complete right away, so he decides to text Mark later.

By Sunday morning, Mark is undoubtedly excited and can't wait to let Devin in on the fact that they are going to a Vegan Sports bar this time. He has his Chicago Bears jersey laid out and his brand new J's are fresh to death and ready to debut!

Meanwhile, Devin wakes up Sunday morning and is super pumped and excited to go to the game. After he's put on his jersey, he realizes while scrolling through his texts, that he forgot to press send on his message to Mark letting him know about the change in plans for today. Hurriedly, he calls Mark and explains that he's going to have to cancel. 

The conversation very quickly escalates into an argument. Mark is hurt, disappointed, and very upset. He yells at Devin saying, "This is bs man, you're just an inconsiderate jerk! I honestly can't believe you right now!"

Devin feels attacked and immediately gets defensive, saying, "Screw you Mark! You KNOW you would do the SAME thing if you were in my shoes! So whatever, I'm going! If you want to see me, check out the 50-yard line!!"

In a state of anger, they both hang up.

Now they're both upset and disconnected. Neither of them is considering the other's perspective and both are hurt and feel unheard.

So how could this have gone differently WITHOUT criticism and defensiveness?

Well, rather than criticize Devin's character out of frustration, Mark should use an "I feel" statement to articulate his feelings and voice his complaint WITHOUT attacking his brother by saying something more like this:

"Wow, Devin. I feel extremely disappointed and let down. I don't feel like my time and efforts were even considered. Maybe if you could have let me know sooner, I could be more understanding, but I feel like this is so last minute and I was really looking forward to blowing off some steam with you. I even found a Vegan Sports bar!"

Now rather than feeling attacked, Devin is able to learn the feelings behind Mark's frustration, and gain empathy and understanding rather than feeling blamed and cornered for his mistake. 

Meanwhile, Devin should take ACCOUNTABILITY for the fact that because he failed to communicate sooner, he did pose an inconvenience to Mark, which was likely to upset him since he knows Mark's plans in advance. By taking accountability and owning the mistake, Mark will feel heard as his perspective is recognized rather than dismissed. Devin should sound something like this:

"You're absolutely right Mark, and I'm really sorry. I meant to reach out to you sooner and I got distracted by my boss. By the time I realized it was too late, I wanted to call. I promise to try to be more considerate next time, and hey we can try the new Vegan place next Sunday if you're still up for it. Again, I'm really sorry, it was a last-minute offer that I couldn't refuse with seats on the 50-yard line. I hope you can forgive me."

Taking accountability for the things we know we've done can prevent the need for others to criticize our actions or lash out.

Voicing our personal truths with feeling expressions over criticisms can allow us to be better received and increase the likelihood of accountability occurring in naturally in our relationships.

So instead of becoming defensive or criticizing hurtfully, try these methods instead to help improve your communication and strengthen your relationships the next time you find yourself in a similar situation. 

How To Find Happiness

Imagine how it would feel each day to wake up calm and ready to tackle the day. You would enjoy your job, have a sense of purpose, and have ample time for friends and family. We are here to assist you in achieving happiness, regardless of how it appears or feels to you. 

Let's look at the keys to happiness and how you can get started finding happiness in yourself.

1. Spend time with people who make you smile: Studies show that we are most joyful around people who are also happy. Stay with the people who are happy and let it rub off on you.

2. Be true to your beliefs: Values are everything you hold true, know to be fair, and believe in. The more you honor them, the better you'll feel about yourself and the people you care about over time.

3. Acknowledge the upside: Take a look at your life and assess what is working, and don't ignore anything just because it isn't perfect. Even the smallest of things, let them in.

4. Envision the best: Don't be afraid to imagine yourself getting what you really want. People are usually pessimistic because they don't want to be disappointed if things don't work out. The fact is that imagining achieving your goals is an important part of the process.
   

5. Do what you enjoy: Even if you can't skydive every day or go on vacation every season, you'll be happier as long as you do the things you love from time to time.
   

6. Find meaning: The people who accept they are adding to the prosperity of mankind will generally rest easier thinking about their lives. Because it is satisfying, most people want to be a part of something bigger than themselves.
   

7. Pay attention to your heart: Only you can tell what makes you feel full. It's possible that your friends and family believe you would be great at a job that really doesn't appeal to you. Following your heart can be challenging, but you will definitely figure it out.
   

8. Focus on yourself, not others: It's easy to feel that another person is responsible for your satisfaction, yet actually, it is your charge. Once you realize that, you are in control of your destiny. You will find your answers much sooner if you stop blaming the world or other people.
   

9. Be willing to adapt: Change is the only thing you can count on, even if it hurts. Change will occur, so make possible arrangements and genuinely shore yourself up for the experience.
   

10. Enjoy the simple pleasures: The people who love you, prized recollections, senseless jokes, warm days, and brilliant evenings — these are the ties that bind and the gifts that continue to give.

Although they are sometimes just out of reach, happiness and contentment are within reach. Finding them more frequently starts with knowing what works best for you. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

What is PTSD? A blog on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can occur after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a physical or sexual assault, combat or military exposure, or any other event that threatens the person's safety or integrity. PTSD can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background.

PTSD develops when the brain's natural response to danger and stress becomes altered, leading to persistent and severe symptoms that can last for months or even years after the traumatic event. Symptoms of PTSD can include:

1. Intrusive thoughts, memories, or nightmares related to the traumatic event

2. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)

3. Avoidance of people, places, or situations that may trigger memories of the event

4. Negative changes in mood and cognition, such as feeling detached from others, having negative beliefs about oneself, or experiencing difficulty concentrating

5. Hyperarousal, or a heightened state of anxiety, which can include being easily startled, feeling irritable or angry, having trouble sleeping, or engaging in reckless or self-destructive behaviors

Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event develops PTSD, and the risk factors for developing PTSD can vary from person to person. Some factors that may increase the risk of developing PTSD include:

1. Experiencing a particularly intense or prolonged trauma

2. Having a history of mental health problems or substance abuse

3. Lack of social support

4. Genetic predisposition to anxiety or depression

If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of PTSD, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. Treatment for PTSD may include psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of both. With proper treatment, many people with PTSD are able to manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling lives. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

Should You Be Sleeping More?

Sleep is a fundamental aspect of our physical and mental well-being. It is a natural process that enables our body to rest and regenerate, but its importance goes beyond physical rejuvenation. Sleep has a significant impact on our mental health, and a lack of quality sleep can lead to a range of mental health problems.

The effects of sleep deprivation on our mental health are numerous. Research has shown that sleep is essential for the proper functioning of our brain and emotional regulation. Lack of sleep can impair our cognitive functions, affect our mood, and increase our susceptibility to stress and anxiety.

One of the most prominent effects of sleep deprivation on our mental health is the disruption of our circadian rhythm. This natural 24-hour cycle regulates our sleep-wake cycle, and when it is disrupted, it can lead to a range of problems. This can lead to insomnia, a condition in which individuals struggle to fall or stay asleep, leading to increased anxiety, irritability, and depression.

Additionally, sleep deprivation can also affect our memory and concentration. Studies have shown that sleep-deprived individuals have a reduced ability to retain and recall information, leading to a decrease in overall cognitive function. This can lead to decreased academic performance, poor decision-making, and increased likelihood of accidents.

Sleep also plays a crucial role in our emotional regulation. When we sleep, our brains process and regulate our emotions, allowing us to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day. Without adequate sleep, our brains are unable to process and regulate emotions effectively, leading to increased irritability, mood swings, and anxiety.

Sleep deprivation can also exacerbate existing mental health problems. For example, individuals with depression may find that a lack of sleep worsens their symptoms, making it more difficult to manage their condition.

To maintain good mental health, it is essential to prioritize quality sleep. There is much debate on the ideal duration of sleep, but the majority of experts recommend getting seven to nine hours of sleep per night. Establishing a consistent sleep schedule, avoiding caffeine and alcohol before bed, and creating a relaxing sleep environment are all essential steps toward better sleep hygiene.

The rise of sleep apps has made it easier to check how much sleep you had as well as the quality of your sleep. They sometimes go ahead to give recommendations and tips to get the best quality sleep. Here is a list of the best sleep apps according to Sleep Foundation

In conclusion, sleep plays a crucial role in our mental health. A lack of quality sleep can lead to a range of problems, including increased anxiety, irritability, and depression. Prioritizing quality sleep is an essential step towards maintaining good mental health and overall wellbeing.

 At the Lartey Wellness Group, we are committed to providing the right care for our patients. We have a roster of over 40 mental health professionals as well as a network of partner mental health care agencies. This helps us make sure all our clients are assigned to the right care provider as soon as possible. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

WHY EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

Studies have shown that exercise can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being. In this blog post, we will discuss the many benefits of exercise for mental health and offer some tips on how to incorporate exercise into your daily routine.

Exercise can reduce stress

Exercise can also be an effective way to reduce stress. When you exercise, your body releases tension and pent-up energy, which can help you feel more relaxed and calm. Additionally, exercise can help you to better manage stress by providing a healthy outlet for negative emotions.

Exercise can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression

Exercise can be an effective way to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. Exercise releases endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that can improve mood and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. In fact, some studies have found that exercise can be just as effective as medication in treating mild to moderate depression.

Exercise can improve cognitive function

Exercise has been shown to improve cognitive function, including memory, attention, and processing speed. Regular exercise can also help to protect the brain against age-related cognitive decline and reduce the risk of dementia.

Exercise can improve sleep

Regular exercise can also improve the quality of your sleep. Exercise has been shown to help people fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up feeling more rested. Poor sleep is often a symptom of mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression, so improving sleep quality can have a positive impact on overall mental health.

Exercise can improve self-esteem

Exercise can also improve self-esteem and self-confidence. When you exercise regularly and see improvements in your fitness level, you may feel better about yourself and your abilities. Additionally, exercise can help you to feel more in control of your life and more capable of handling challenges.

Tips for Incorporating Exercise into Your Daily Routine

If you're looking to incorporate exercise into your daily routine, here are some tips to get you started:

1. Start small: If you're new to exercise, start with just a few minutes a day and gradually work your way up.

2. Find an activity you enjoy: Exercise doesn't have to be a chore. Find an activity that you enjoy, such as dancing, hiking, or swimming, and make it a regular part of your routine.

3. Make it a habit: Try to exercise at the same time each day to make it a habit. This can help you to stay motivated and consistent with your routine.

4. Make it social: Exercise with friends or join a fitness class to make it a social activity. This can help to keep you accountable and motivated.

5. Set realistic goals: Set realistic goals for yourself and track your progress. Celebrate your successes and use setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.

In conclusion, exercise is an effective and accessible way to improve mental health. Whether you're looking to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, manage stress, improve cognitive function, or boost self-esteem, exercise can help. By incorporating exercise into your daily routine, you can take a proactive approach to your mental health and well-being. It is important to note that exercise can not solve severe mental health issues. In such cases always reach out to a mental health professional for help. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

Dealing With Guilt. 7 Helpful Tips

Dealing with feelings of guilt can be a challenging and overwhelming experience, especially if it's affecting your mental health. Guilt is a natural emotional response that arises when we believe we have done something wrong or failed to live up to our expectations. However, excessive guilt can become harmful and interfere with our ability to enjoy life, form healthy relationships, and progress toward our goals.

In this post, we will explore some helpful tips and strategies for dealing with guilt:

1. Identify the source of your guilt: The first step in dealing with guilt is to identify its root cause of it. Ask yourself, what is making you feel guilty? Is it something you did or didn't do? Once you have identified the source of your guilt, you can start to address it directly.

1. Acknowledge your feelings: It's essential to acknowledge and accept your feelings of guilt. Suppressing or ignoring these emotions can lead to more significant problems in the future. Allow yourself to feel the guilt and explore its underlying causes.

1. Take responsibility: Taking responsibility for your actions is crucial in dealing with guilt. Acknowledge your mistake, apologize if necessary, and make amends where possible. This helps to shift the focus from feeling guilty to taking positive action.

1. Practice self-compassion: When dealing with guilt, it's easy to be hard on yourself and engage in negative self-talk. Instead, practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and empathy. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay to forgive yourself.

1. Learn from the experience: Guilt can be an opportunity for growth and learning. Reflect on what you can learn from the experience and how you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.

1. Seek support: If your guilt is persistent and interferes with your daily life, it's essential to seek support. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional who can help you navigate these emotions.

1. Talk to a therapist: If you are having a hard time dealing with the guilt you’re feeling, it might be time to discuss your feelings with a mental health professional. Unhealthy guilt can be a symptom of depression, and persistent guilty feelings are sometimes linked to trauma. Therapy can be a way to acknowledge, address, and let go of guilt and mitigate its effect on your life.

In conclusion, dealing with guilt requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to address the underlying causes. Remember that guilt is a natural emotion, and it's okay to seek support when needed. kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

Warning Signs That You Should See A Therapist

Mental health is an integral part of our overall well-being. It affects our thoughts, emotions, and behavior, which, in turn, affects how we interact with ourselves and others. While everyone experiences some level of emotional distress or psychological discomfort from time to time, it's important to recognize when these experiences become persistent or severe enough to warrant professional help. In this blog post, we'll explore some of the warning signs that indicate it's time to see a therapist.

1. Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness: If you feel sad or hopeless for an extended period, despite your efforts to shake off these emotions, it may be a sign of depression. Depression can interfere with your ability to enjoy life, disrupt your sleep, and impact your overall well-being.

1. Anxiety or excessive worry: Anxiety is a natural response to stress, but if your worries or fears are excessive, and you find it difficult to control them, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. Anxiety can also manifest as physical symptoms such as sweating, racing heart, or rapid breathing.

1. Significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns: Changes in eating habits or sleep patterns can be an indicator of stress, anxiety, or depression. If you're experiencing significant changes, such as a loss of appetite, weight loss, or difficulty sleeping, it may be time to seek professional help.

1. Relationship difficulties: If you're experiencing problems in your relationships, such as conflicts with your partner, difficulty communicating with family members, or problems at work, it may be a sign that you need to seek the help of a therapist.

1. Substance use: If you find yourself turning to alcohol or drugs to cope with your problems or emotions, it may be a sign of a more significant underlying issue. Substance abuse can also exacerbate mental health problems and interfere with your ability to function in daily life.

1. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors: If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts or have engaged in self-harm, it's important to seek immediate help. These are serious warning signs that indicate a mental health crisis.

In conclusion, if you're experiencing any of the above warning signs, it may be time to seek the help of a mental health professional. At the Lartey Wellness Group, we are committed to providing the right care for our patients. We have a roster of over 40 mental health professionals as well as a network of partner mental health care agencies. This helps us make sure all our clients are assigned to the right care provider as soon as possible. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

Is My Anxiety Going To Get Better?

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It is characterized by excessive worrying, fear, and nervousness, which can interfere with daily activities and quality of life. Many people who experience anxiety may wonder whether their condition is going to get better. While anxiety can be a chronic condition, there are effective treatments available that can help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being.

Causes and Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety can be caused by various factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, environmental stressors, and trauma. It can also be triggered by certain life events, such as job loss, relationship problems, or financial stress. People who experience anxiety may have an overactive fight-or-flight response, which can cause them to feel anxious even in non-threatening situations.

The symptoms of anxiety can vary depending on the person and the type of anxiety disorder they have. Some common symptoms include:

• Excessive worrying or fear

• Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep

• Physical symptoms, such as sweating, trembling, or a racing heartbeat

• Avoiding social situations or activities

• Irritability or restlessness

• Difficulty concentrating or focusing

Is My Anxiety going to get better?

The progression of anxiety can vary from person to person. Some people may experience mild symptoms that do not interfere with their daily lives, while others may have more severe symptoms that make it difficult to carry out daily activities. In some cases, anxiety can worsen over time if left untreated, leading to additional mental health issues such as depression.

However, it's important to remember that anxiety can be effectively managed with the right treatment. Treatment for anxiety can include therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and self-help strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a commonly used therapy for anxiety and involves identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to anxiety.

Lifestyle changes, such as exercise, healthy eating, and stress management techniques, can also help reduce symptoms of anxiety over time. Practicing mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can be beneficial for reducing stress and promoting relaxation.

Self-help strategies, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or family member, and practicing self-compassion, can also be helpful in managing symptoms of anxiety over time. It's important to remember that managing anxiety is a journey, and progress may take time.

Conclusion

Anxiety can be a challenging mental health condition, but it is treatable. At the Lartey Wellness Group, we are committed to providing the right care for our patients. We have a roster of over 40 mental health professionals as well as a network of partner mental health care agencies. This helps us make sure all our clients are assigned to the right care provider as soon as possible. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

Finding the right therapist during a mental health crisis.

Going through a mental health crisis can be a challenging and overwhelming experience. It's essential to seek professional help to manage your symptoms and improve your mental health. Finding the right therapist is a crucial step in this process. But with so many different types of therapists and treatment modalities available, how do you know which one is the best fit for you?

Here are some tips to help you find the right therapist when going through a mental health crisis:

1 Identify your needs and preferences

The first step in finding the right therapist is to identify your needs and preferences. What type of therapy do you think would work best for you? Do you want to work with a therapist who specializes in a particular area, such as anxiety or depression? What are your scheduling and financial needs? Answering these questions can help you narrow down your search and find a therapist who is a good match for you.

2 Seek recommendations

Ask your primary care physician, friends, family, or colleagues for recommendations for a therapist. They may have had positive experiences with a therapist and can provide insight into their approach and effectiveness. You can also look for reviews online or ask for recommendations from mental health organizations or support groups.

3 Check credentials

It's essential to ensure that the therapist you choose is licensed and trained in the type of therapy you're seeking. Check their credentials and verify that they're licensed in your state. You can also check if they're affiliated with any professional organizations or have any specialized training.

4 Schedule an initial consultation

Once you have a list of potential therapists, schedule an initial consultation. This meeting can help you get a sense of the therapist's style and approach, and whether you feel comfortable working with them. It's also an opportunity to ask questions about their experience and training and to discuss your goals for therapy.

5 Trust your gut

Finally, trust your gut. Therapy is a personal and emotional experience, and it's crucial to feel comfortable and safe with your therapist. If you don't feel a connection or think that the therapist is not a good fit for you, it's okay to keep looking. Finding the right therapist can take time, but it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being.

In conclusion, finding the right therapist is a crucial step in managing a mental health crisis. At the Lartey Wellness Group we are committed to providing the right care for our patients. We have a roster of over 40 mental health professionals as well as a network of partner mental health care agencies. This helps us make sure all our clients are assigned to the right care provider as soon as possible. If you or a loved one is going through a mental health crisis, kindly call us on 1 (800) 994-5403 or email us at admin@larteywellness.com to schedule an appointment.

Tips to Start a Virtual Mental Health Private Practice

The COVID-19 pandemic had an interesting effect on healthcare. Because of telehealth, we were given the ability to attend appointments virtually instead of in-person. In fields such as mental health, having telehealth as an option can be beneficial for the practice and clients alike. Let’s take a look at some of the benefits of providing virtual patient care: 

• Low cost - no overhead expenses and more disposable income.

• Greater flexibility - control your own schedule.

• Increase revenue - see as many clients as you’d like, even after hours, which increases $$.

• Broaden clientele - opens up services to those who may not have been able to attend an in-person appointment due to llack of transportation or maybe their schedule just didn’t allow for it. 

• High efficiency - simplify your workflow and keep manual, repetitive tasks to a minimum. Improve your productivity, quality of care, as well as client satisfaction.

If you have a practice of your own, or have dreams to own one, here are a few tips that can help you take your practice virtual.

• Invest in practice management tools such as HIPAA compliant electronic health records systems and payment platforms like TherapyNotes and SquareUp.

• Invest in a telehealth platform like TherapyNotes or Zoom. 

• Hire a strong dedicated team of virtual assistants to help with the daily operations of the business. 

• Invest in an after-hours call answering service to handle any calls that come in after-hours and on holidays. 

• Invest in digital marketing and establish a strong online presence. 

• Save all client and business records securely online or in cloud-based software. 

• Get a virtual office through companies like Regus or DaVinci.

Stay tuned for more blogs on how to grow your own mental health private practice. 

Scale Your Practice With a CARF Accreditation!

If you have your own private practice, or have dreams to own one, you might be wondering what the next steps are after your practice is comfortably established. What are some actions you can take to help you scale? For some, the next step might be increasing the amount of clinicians they have on staff, or ensuring all of their clinicians are credentialed with insurance companies. It is those sorts of things that can really elevate a practice and take it to a new level. 

Becoming a CARF Accredited organization is another option one can take if they are trying to scale their private practice to the next level. CARF International has surveyed hundreds of thousands of programs around the world since it was founded as an independent, nonprofit accreditor in 1966. According to CARF International, “the accreditation signals a service provider's commitment to continually improving services, encouraging feedback, and serving the community. Consumers face a variety of options when deciding what services to use and who should provide them. Accreditation is a sign of quality and is an important consideration in their decision making.” CARF International. (2023, February 14). Why does accreditation matter? [Website]. Retrieved from http://www.carf.org/Accreditation/ 

Consumers look for CARF® accreditation in their choice of treatment for issues affecting mental health such as inpatient and outpatient therapy, addiction and substance abuse, psychiatric rehabilitation program (PRP) and many more. When you are backed by the accreditation, your practice will be looked at as more credible and trustworthy when it comes to quality of care, therefore potential clients may be more inclined to choose your practice over a non-accredited institution. More so, CARF International states that, “the value of accreditation goes beyond a competitive distinction for service providers and a framework for continuous quality improvement. CARF offers a wide variety of value-added benefits and several unique advantages to help providers receive the greatest return for their accreditation investment.” CARF International. (2023, February 14). Why does accreditation matter? [Website]. Retrieved from http://www.carf.org/Accreditation/ 

In order to obtain the accreditation, there are certain requirements and standards that a practice must follow. These standards can be found in the CARF Handbook. In order to satisfy the requirements and standards, written policies must be put in place that are followed practice wide. CARF will schedule a site survey where all practice locations and files are reviewed for adequacy to ensure the compliance of the standards. Based on their findings, they will either award an organization with a 1 year or 3 year accreditation. Lartey Wellness Group was awarded a 3 year CARF Accreditation in 2021. We will be doing a resurvey in the upcoming months to ensure we are still compliant with the standards. 

In summary, there are many things one can do to help scale their practice to the next level. A CARF Accreditation is one beneficial way of achieving that in its ability to establish a practice as credible and trustworthy and therefore increasing the amount of new clients a practice receives. Stay tuned for more information on how to grow your own mental health private practice.

How I Got Ghosted by More Than 50% of My New Team.

It’s been a while since I announced my ambitious plan to start a marketing agency within my agency to provide leads for other therapists and mental health agencies.

True to my word, I have hit the ground running with this new venture. As exciting as it has been, it hasn’t come without a few hiccups here and there. To get things started I made it a point to hire a solid team of cold callers to market our services directly to therapists. Therefore I put out a few ads in search of cold callers. A perfect fit for this role would be someone with actual cold-calling experience who understood the nuances of the job. Past ordeals have taught me that picking just anyone off the job market and handing them a script to read out to a client is just a disaster waiting to happen. So I put out the ad and waited.

Before long I started receiving offers and resumes. Some impressed me by way of fitting the criteria I had set forth perfectly. And some sold me on how good, hardworking and quick to learn they were. I picked five applicants out of the mix and decided to give them a chance to prove themselves. I scheduled a call with the applicants on Monday and made it clear that they should be ready to devote at least 4 hours to the initial meeting. Smooth so far, what could go wrong?

On Monday all five showed up in addition to my existing marketing team. They introduced themselves to each other and we started work on the call script. I wanted to see how much they could contribute individually and how well they could work together. On completing the script, I gave each person a chance to go over and practice the script. I had other meetings to attend so I postponed the meeting and scheduled a new meeting.

That’s when things started going wrong. Out of the five, only three showed up. The remaining two just decided not to show up nor give a reason for their absence. I took it in good faith and moved on with the remaining three. We started the mock sales calls. The first applicant started and delivered very well, and the second person also did pretty well. When it was the turn of the third applicant she decided that now was the perfect time to tell me that she was uncomfortable with a mock sales call and that she isn’t going to participate. Bear in mind that I had already described the job and communicated the processes and training s they would be expected to partake in. I excused her and hoped to hear from her later but it turned out she had blocked me on the messaging app we communicated on.

In less than 48 hours I had lost more than 50% of the cold-calling team I was building to start this new venture. As difficult as it was to process, I soldiered on with my two new tried, and tested cold callers. What stuck out to me was that out of the people I hired, the ones that were still with me were the ones that had cold calling experience on their resume and ended up proving to me that they were in fact up to the task. The third person who joined later also had 7 years of cold-calling experience. I guess I should have stuck to my criteria.

The journey has been rough but there have been a few wins as well. We are on a mission to build a system that helps Mental Health professionals rest assured knowing they can take breaks and that whenever they are ready, there will be leads waiting for them at the Lartey Wellness Group.

Follow or journey on Youtube: https://youtu.be/LfLssFme98M

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