Coping in a world of chaos.
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The world has faced a daunting shift since the dawn of the pandemic of COVID-19. We have seen racial disparities, brutal police killings, school shootings, mass shootings, general upheaval, and unrest throughout the country with no end. All over the world people are fighting for the right to live peacefully. We've witnessed 50-year-old laws like Roe Vs. Wade overturned, sparking fears of further national divides in the US. Wars brewing in Ukraine, citizens getting killed for moral and religious exemplifications in Iran and the list goes on endlessly.
In the midst of it all, the mental health crisis has risen to an all-time high with Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD at the forefront of clinical diagnoses for people worldwide.
In these dark times of uncertainty, how can we find peace? How can we strive to move forward and connect? How do we learn to use our voices to self-advocate without stifling the voices of one another? How do we learn to disagree without conflict?
As a therapist, let me share some tools to aid you in finding some of the answers.
1. LISTENING
Listen with your whole heart; without judgment, criticisms, or personal interpretations, when you're communicating and connecting with those who have perspectives that differ from your own.
It is okay to have differences of opinion and to RESPECTFULLY voice them without contributing to escalations that can cause chaos or disruptions in relationships.
Listening to hear versus listening to respond can help you truly gain insight and understanding in these situations and further avoid tensions, confusion, and miscommunication.
2. SELF CARE
Self-care is critical during times of emotionality and heightened stress. It is important that you have your own individual and personal time to get a breather from things and boost your mental status through positive activities you enjoy. Go see a movie, have a massage one day each week, or eat your favorite meal with your favorite person. Do something every week and if you have time, every day to honor yourself and your personal needs. Caring for yourself MUST come first before you can tackle anything else you hold responsibilities for.
3. PROCESSING
With everything going on in the world even watching or reading the news can become overwhelming and triggering. You might experience a wealth of emotional reactions or responses to things you never even knew you had issues with. Just know that whatever you feel is real and completely valid. Allow yourself the time to take a break and genuinely think through the feeling rather than dismissing or suppressing it. Consider how whatever you're feeling connects with different situations you've experienced in your life and strive to better understand yourself and your emotional needs to be addressed or healed. Journal or write about it, call a friend to vent, or go workout to help yourself process and truly feel whatever comes up, even if it is a difficult topic. By processing what we feel we can allow space for emotions without them consuming us.
4. COMMUNICATION OF TRIGGERS
When you learn about a traumatic event or experience it, there are a lot of different things that can happen in the moment.
Your nervous system becomes activated and adrenaline pulses through your system provoking your "flight or fight" response. You might cry or become intently angry or even freeze in a state of shock. Your heart may race, you might sweat, panic, or experience other symptoms.
The first step is to recognize what you are feeling in your body. Listen to your heart and breathing and work towards regulating these first by taking deep breaths in and out while audibly counting with each exhale/inhale, i.e. deep breath in, hold for 2 seconds, and then release, count aloud the number 1, then repeat. This is a breathing exercise.
You may also try the "butterfly hug" method by interlocking your thumbs across your chest and gently tapping your fingertips to your chest in an alternating pattern, i.e left tap followed by a right tap. Alternatively, you may also simply cross your arms as shown below.
When you feel calmer and your breathing is regular, it's time to talk to someone about what happened and what you're feeling as a result of the trauma. Call a friend or family member you trust or schedule an appointment with a therapist.
Communicating that you've been triggered can help you understand yourself better as you explore the root causes behind what you're feeling and what you've experienced. Moving forward you will also know more about topics and related areas to avoid or that could cause later reactive responses or triggers in the future and you can share this with those closest to you as well.
This list is not exhaustive but is a start to helping to improve some coping skills as you endure uncertainty in the world and everyday chaos. Keep them in mind the next time you're feeling overwhelmed with the weight of the world.
