Advice for Your Marriage

Love Maps
When you are fully aware of your partner’s love maps, more intimacy is involved in the relationship. Don’t forget to spice up those intimate moments!!
Couples who are emotionally intelligent are intimately familiar with each other’s world. They maintain plenty of cognitive room in their minds to remember major events that changed their partner’s world. They are cognizant of each other’s fears, hopes, dreams and aspirations. This mindset allows them to be more prepared for stressful events and conflicts, as they are not easily thrown off course. Start creating your love maps right away, as those who do not, lose their way as soon as challenges are faced.
To build your love map, ask your partner about the things that are most important to them. Secondly, make your own love map by making notes of important events in your partner’s life, especially the stressors and aspirations. Third, look into yourself and answer the following questions:
i.    My triumphs and where I strive
ii.    My injuries and healing 
iii.    My emotional world 
iv.    My mission and legacy 
v.    Who I want to become

Allow Each Other Some Space
Practice appropriate boundaries, and don’t be surprised of how appreciative you’ll be when sharing new things! Asking for alone time is not meant to be disrespectful; instead one should be proud of how brave their partner is to have asked. But doesn’t this request stress the life out of you? Allow yourself to feel all those panicky things, just don’t act on them. Though you’re torn on the inside, be brave on the outside. If loneliness kicks in, be especially kind to yourself. One of the most critical elements of a relationship is having a solid identity; so go out and try something new. Put you back in touch with yourself! The more solid your personality is, the happier you will be in a relationship. Healthy couples give each other space for hobbies and relationships. Unhealthy couples push each other away. Spend a healthy amount of time apart and keep reaping the benefits from your alone time.

Two Kinds of Marital Conflicts
There are solvable and unsolvable problems in any relationship. Couples must therefore customize coping mechanisms for perpetual problems, which invariably fall into gridlock. The four horsemen, namely criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling become more prominent in these situations, while humor and affection steadily decrease. The couple begins to live parallel lives because: 

1.    Conflict makes you feel rejected by your partner; 
2.    You keep on talking about it, but make no headway; 
3.    You become entrenched in your positions and are unwilling to budge; 
4.    When you discuss the topic, you feel more frustrated and hurt;
5.    Your conversations about the problem are devoid of humor, amusement or affection; 
6.    Unwillingness to compromise, leading to mutual vilification during these conversations;
7.    The vilification leads to being further rooted in your position and polarized, more extreme in your views and less willing to compromise; 
8.    Eventually, you disengage from each other emotionally.

Solvable problems are situational and have very little dilemma. Solving these issues can be done through effective repair attempts, learning how to compromise and being mindful of your partner’s imperfections. Solvable problems can however lead to perpetual problems, if not addressed and/or coping mechanisms utilized.

Codependency in Relationships and How Therapy is Beneficial

By Brianna Boyd

Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith have recently made the headlines because of some
difficulties they have been experiencing in their marriage. I am not going delve too far into it,
however there is one concept that was brought up that I would like to touch base on. There
seems to have been an unhappiness present in their marriage, mainly on the part of Jada
Pinkett-Smith. This unhappiness caused Jada to seek love elsewhere and she ended up in an
extramarital affair.

During an episode of her show The Red Table Talk, her and Will briefly talked about what was
happening within in their marriage to clear the air, and Jada said something that stood out to
me. She said, “I just wanted to feel good. It had been so long since I felt good and it was really a
joy to just help heal somebody. I think that has a lot to do with my codependency, which is
another thing I had to learn to break in this cycle, just that idea of needing to fix and being
drawn to people that need help.” Jada went on to say that “there’s something about that
childhood trauma that feels as though it can be fixed through fixing people versus fixing me.”

CODEPENDENCY FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Codependency is a real issue that I do not think many people understand or know much about.
Most of the time, people become codependent adults because of trauma they experienced as a
child or when a child’s parent(s) is not filling their role. Maybe they were neglected where their
emotions were ignored or punished. Maybe they had to witness their parents fighting and
were exposed to verbal or physical abuse. Maybe they had a parent that suffered with an
addiction like alcoholism. When children experience dysfunction like this within their family,
they become “fixers” and they do whatever they can to try and keep the peace since the adults
around them cannot. Sometimes the child has to become the adult or the caretaker. Unless
they get a handle on their codependency early on, it will most likely follow them into
adulthood.

SYMPTOMS OF CODEPENDENCY

• Caretaking – this is the biggest symptom of codependency***

• Low self-esteem

• People-pleasing

• Poor boundaries

• Reactivity

• Control

• Dysfunctional communication

• Obsessions

• Dependency

• Denial

• Fear of rejection

• Problems with intimacy

• Painful emotions

CODEPENDENCY AND RELATIONSHIPS
Almost all codependent relationships are unbalanced, unhealthy relationships. Most of the
time, you have one person sacrificing their own needs and happiness for the benefit of the
other person. An example of a classic codependent relationship is an alcoholic husband and an
enabling wife. The wife gets a sort satisfaction with taking care of her husband and him having
to rely on her. The wife bases her well-being and self-esteem on the behavior of her husband.
This is where the caretaking and nurturing comes in. The wife nurtures her husband when he is
engaging in the undesirable behavior (the alcoholism). This nurturing is pleasant to the husband
which reinforces his wife. So then it just becomes a cycle—the positive reinforces the negative
and the negative reinforces the positive.

Now in Jada’s situation, the person she was involved with was suffering from an illness. But
nonetheless, that same dynamic of the alcoholic wife and the enabling wife still remains. She
felt a sort of happiness by having to take care of someone that she felt needed her help. But it
was not true happiness. It was happiness disguised as dependency. Dependency on another
person to fulfill something within herself. That is not healthy, and never will be. A person who
suffers from codependency will never be able to have a healthy relationship unless they fix
what is going on inside themselves—to heal from the trauma that caused them to become that
way in the first place.

HOW LARTEY WELLNESS CAN HELP
Codependency itself does not qualify as a mental health diagnosis but it can still cause severe
distress for people. It can easily cause people to develop mental health conditions such as
anxiety and depression. Our therapists can help a person reduce codependent behaviors and
develop healthier relationships. When working with one of our counselors, we can help a
person explore the roots of their behavior and learn to balance their needs with those of
others.

How a Therapist Can Help with Anxiety Disorders

By Brianna Boyd

Anxiety can cause a series of issues within a person’s life. It can hinder a person’s ability to function at work, school, and socially. Anxiety can also wreak havoc on the relationships people have with their family and friends. Luckily, anxiety can be lessened with treatment. Medication does play a role in treating anxiety disorders. However, the most effective treatment is therapy, whether it is alone or in combination with medication.

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

Anxiety disorders are fairly common in both children and adults. In fact, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, 18 percent of adults in the United States and 25 percent of adolescents will experience anxiety. The major types of anxiety disorders are:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder – persistent worry or anxious feelings. Those suffering from this disorder may worry about things like health problems, finances, or that something bad is going to happen. Some symptoms of this disorder are restlessness, irritability, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, and generally feeling on edge.

Panic Disorder – recurrent panic attacks that include symptoms like sweating, trembling, shortness of breath or the feeling of choking, a pounding heart/rapid heart rate, feelings of dread. Attacks may happen suddenly and without warning. Those who suffer from panic attacks may be fearful of when the next panic attack will happen.

Phobias – intense fear about specific objects or situations that can be distressing or intrusive

Social Anxiety Disorder – or “social phobia”. This disorder can cause people to be fearful of social situations where they might feel embarrassed or judged. People who suffer from this disorder will normally feel nervous in social settings, feel self-conscious in front of others, and worry about being rejected by or offending others. Some other common symptoms are having a hard time making friends, avoiding social situations, worrying for days before a social event, feeling shaky, sweaty, or nauseous when spending time in a social setting. 

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – Sufferers of this disorder have persistent, uncontrollable feelings and thoughts, as well as routines and rituals. Some examples are compulsive hand washing in response to a fear of germs, or repeatedly checking work for errors.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – is a disorder that can develop after a person experiences severe physical or emotional trauma such as a natural disaster, serious accident, or crime. Symptoms include flashbacks of trauma, nightmares, and frightening thoughts that interfere with a person’s daily routine for months or years after the traumatic experience.

HOW LARTEY WELLNESS CAN HELP

Through their education and training, our therapists can successfully diagnose anxiety disorders. They can also find ways to teach their patients healthier and more effective ways to cope with their anxiety. A type of psychotherapy called “cognitive-behavioral therapy” is one of the most effective ways of treating anxiety disorders. Through CBT, our therapists help their patients identify and manage the biggest contributors to their anxiety.  CBT can help people change their negative thought patterns which help to reduce the likelihood and intensity of anxiety symptoms. Our therapists will also teach their patients techniques to reduce undesired behaviors that are linked to anxiety disorder.

Clients will work collaboratively with their therapist to develop these skills and techniques to cope with their anxiety. Patients should expect to practice these skills and techniques outside of their sessions to help manage their anxiety. However, our therapists will never ask a patient to do anything they do not feel comfortable doing. They will always make sure a patient has the skills to properly confront their fears.

If you suffer from anxiety, do not be fearful of asking for help. You are not alone in this. Give us a call today to set up a free consultation.

How Counseling Can Help Save Your Marriage or Relationship

By Leigh Demetrius

Do you need Marriage/Couples Counseling?

Let us play a game called the “Yes or No” game. How it works is, you will be asked thirteen questions and if you answered “Yes” to most of these questions, then that means a marriage/couple’s therapist is highly recommended. Shall we begin?

1. Do you worry that your marriage/relationship is headed in the wrong direction?

2. Do you oftentimes criticize one another?

3. Do you believe the communication is poor between both of you?

4. Do you or your partner ever get emotionally or physically out of control?

5. Is there a lot of defensiveness in your marriage/relationship?

6. Are you unable to discuss your concerns or feelings?

7. Do you experience the same conflict over and over without resolution?

8. Do you tend to withdraw from one another?

9. Do you think that with some effort your marriage/relationship could be better?

10. Do you feel contempt and anger towards each other?

11. Do you find yourself thinking regularly about someone else?

12. Is there a significant secret which you have not told your partner?

13. Do you sense that you and your partner are growing apart?

To save your marriage (or relationship in your case), it is important to seek help sooner rather than later for the counseling to be remarkably effective.

How to Find a Good Marriage/Couples Therapist

Finding a good marriage/couple’s therapist can be a difficult process. There are instances where you may have to meet with more than one until you find the right fit. You will come across therapists who mean you well but are not qualified to do this type of therapy.

To make this process an even easier one for you, here are a few ways:

• Choose one with the right qualifications Do not be afraid to ask the potential therapist about their professional qualifications and experiences. Go for the therapist with a significant amount of years of experience, as opposed to a therapist who is relatively new to the profession. Also, it is highly likely that their past or present clients will leave reviews and other indications online for you to believe that they will be the right fit for you.

• They should be unbiased and neutral Sometimes one partner might choose a therapist that they may know personally because they believe that they will be on their side. This is a big no no!! A professional marriage/couple’s therapist should NEVER take sides and should always remain neutral, even if they know one or both partners. Choose a therapist both you and your partner can agree on and ensure that any previous acquaintances are disclosed and discussed before choosing that therapist.

• A therapist with similar belief systems A couple might feel more comfortable working with a therapist who shares the same beliefs as them. A perfect example is of Christian couples seeking a Christian marriage/couple’s therapist in Baltimore Md.

• More about fixing the problem than the money You know how costly therapy can be, especially with the number of sessions needed in order to effectively handle the presented issues in your marriage/relationship. You may ask yourself, “how do I pick up on this?” If you find that they do not accept your insurance but are willing to work out financial agreements to meet the needs of their clients, right away it is evident that he or she is not about the billing, but more so about helping repair your marriage/relationship.

The Effectiveness of Marriage/Couples Counseling

Most marriage/couples counselors practice using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This form of therapy changes the constricted patterns of interaction between distressed couples and thereby changes the emotional responses to each other. In other words, EFT helps strengthen the emotional bond between both partners. It requires a minimum of six months of commitment but may require more, depending on other factors.

The effectiveness is measured using the most common outcome measure, a questionnaire, called the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS). Fun Fact: this measure has been used since 1976. Its major positive outcome is the reduction in complaints between partners.

To increase the chances of having a positive outcome from counseling, you must ensure that you both are willing to participate. Ascertain this by:

• No longer viewing each other as the opponent but on the same team. This increases cooperation and each person’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable.

• Feeling empathy for your partner. Have compassion for each other’s feelings of vulnerability and past emotional traumas.

• Owning your part in the problems, as well as the process of bringing about positive change. Many times couples come to therapy with a list of complaints about the other person, and an underlying desire for the therapist to change their behavior. Even though these complaints are valid, nothing can be resolved unless both individuals are open to change some aspects of their own behavior.

How Therapy Can Help You Recover from Childhood Trauma

By Brianna Boyd

Childhood trauma can manifest itself within a person in a plethora of ways. Sometimes a person may not even realize that the problems they are dealing with mentally stem from trauma from their childhood. But childhood trauma is fairly common. The SAMHSA’s National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative (NCSTI) has reported that by the age of 16, two-thirds of children report experiencing at least one traumatic event. Because children have sensitive psyches, the damage from said trauma can have everlasting effects on a person. Examples of some of the forms of trauma children can go through are:

• Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

• Neglect

• Assault

• Having parents that struggle with addiction

• Witnessing family violence

• Witnessing disasters or terrorism

• Community of school violence

• Sudden or violent death of a loved one

• Refugees or war experiences

• Serious accidents

• Life threatening illness

EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

This sort of childhood adversity can have a negative impact on a person, especially when it comes to a persons mental health. Some examples of the negative symptoms that stem from childhood trauma are:

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS:

• Anxiety

• Panic attacks

• Being easily emotionally triggered/emotional outbursts

• Depression

• Anger

• Unresponsiveness

• Shame

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS:

• Eating disorders/overeating and overdrinking

• Poor concentration

• Shakiness

• Night terrors

• Lack of energy

• Physical illness

• Sleep disturbances

BEHAVIORAL SYMPTOMS:

• Fear of speaking and identifying their truth

• Poor Boundaries with others

• Lack of self-confidence

• Poor communication skills

• Lack of conflict and negotiating skills

• People pleasing personality

• Co-dependency in intimate relationships

• Impulsiveness

• Isolation

• Numbness or callousness

• General disorientation

Childhood trauma can have a huge impact on a person’s quality of life. Childhood trauma causes higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicide and self-harm, PTSD, drug and alcohol abuse, and relationship Counseling Baltimore Md. Children who are exposed to trauma may also develop a “heightened stress response”. This stress response can hinder a person’s ability to regulate their emotions, cause sleep difficulties, lower immune function, and can inhibit a variety of physical illnesses into adulthood.

TREATMENTS FOR OVERCOMING CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

There are many success stories about people who have overcome their trauma and the hardships they have faced because of it. When people are able to see the strengths they have gained from their childhood adversity it is easier for them to make a commitment to changing their future for the better. Therapy with a trusted mental health professional can make the process of becoming aware of one’s traumas and overcoming them so much easier. Some evidence-based treatments for treating childhood trauma:

COGNITIVE PROCESSING THERAPY (CPT) - this therapy is used to help treat people with PTSD. CPT has been shown to reduce the effects of trauma people have experienced as children. CPT focuses on re-contextualizing and helping to rationalize the traumatic events experienced by the victim.

TRAUMA-FOCUSED COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY (TF-CBT) – type of psychotherapy specifically focused on trauma. TF-CBT helps people change destructive patterns into positive solutions through awareness and cognitive responses.

EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING (EMDR) – a form of psychotherapy where people will recall traumatic memories while moving their eyes from side to side in a rhythmic pattern. This treatment helps decrease the negative effects of PTSD.

NARRATIVE EXPOSURE THERAPY (NET) – type of therapy that puts into context the events of a person’s life during positive traumatic points.

PROLONGED EXPOSURE THERAPY – aka “flooding.” Type of therapy where a person is exposed to traumatic memories to help them understand and rationalize those events.

HOW THE LARTEY WELLNESS GROUP CAN HELP YOU

Life can sometimes be more difficult for people who suffer from childhood trauma. We understand how trauma can
cause people to have issues with their confidence, resolving conflict, being in relationships, or even being
successful. With the help one of our therapists, one can more easily identify their traumas and the
issues that stem from it. Those who suffer from childhood adversity have the ability to feel
better today than they did when they were a child. They do not have to feel helpless. They have
the ability to change their mood, behaviors, and circumstances. But this change requires the
awareness and commitment to growth as a person. Seeking a therapist can greatly benefit a
person’s personal growth and aid in their healing. Working with one of our therapists can help one to:

• Identify their values and live a values-driven life

• Learn how to have self-compassion

• Identify and eliminate self-defeating behaviors

• Increase their self-confidence by helping them accept challenges and improve their internal dialogue

• Learn meditation and mindfulness

• Learn assertiveness and conflict negotiation skills

Our therapists can also help one see the positives of their journey as a person and help one appreciate the survival skills they gained through their trauma. When working with one of our therapists, one can transform their childhood survival skills into adult strengths. Sometimes this allows for one to excel in areas where others were only average. Examples of childhood survival skills that can become a strength as an adult are:

• Sensitivity and empathy for others

• Patience and support

• Independence

• Resilience

• Intuitiveness about group politics

• Becoming a student of communication and conflict negotiation skills

The quicker therapy is sought by a person struggling with childhood trauma, the better chance
they have at having a full and successful recovery. If you feel that you are suffering from trauma from your childhood, we suggest you reach out to us and schedule an free consultation so that we can aid you in your healing and recovery. 

How Psychologists Help with Depressive Disorders

By Leigh Demetrius

Depression or major depressive disorder is one of the most common mental disorders in the United States of America that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act. According to the National Institutes of Health, every year more than 16 million adult Americans experience at least one episode of major depression. Evidence indicates it results from a combination of genetic, biological, psychological, social, and environmental factors. Major life changes, trauma, and stress can also trigger depression. Diagnosing depression requires a complex process involving a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other mental health professional. To be diagnosed with depression, symptoms need to be present for at least two weeks. Some of the depression’s most common symptoms are:

•       Anger and irritability

•       Prolonged sadness or feeling of emptiness

•       Withdrawal from friends and family

•       Thoughts of death or suicide

•       Loss of interest in activities

•       Fatigue

•       Changes in sleeping patterns

•      Feelings of guilt or worthlessness

•     Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness

•     Restlessness

•     Difficulty concentrating

•       Appetite changes

•       Chronic pain, headaches or stomachaches

Not everyone who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few symptoms while others experience many.

Persons suffering from depression require professional treatment because it is not something that will go away on its own. The good news is that 80-90 percent of people respond well to treatment. The quicker treatment begins, the more effective it is, and the possibility of a recurrence can be prevented. Anti-depressants or psychotherapy are two known treatments for depression. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) recommends them as first-line treatments for mild to moderate depression. For individuals with more severe depression, they recommend a combination of both. Anti-depressants can be helpful for reducing the symptoms for some persons and psychotherapy (also known as talk therapy) addresses the negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that give rise to distress and that need to be managed in more productive ways. Psychotherapy can be done by licensed Psychologists who are highly trained in helping persons recover from depression. It involves the use of several different approaches that have been shown to help persons recover especially for those who suffer from mild to moderate depression. It can help people with depression:

•     Highlight life events that contribute to their depression and help them find ways to accept, change, and adapt to those situations.

• Set realistic future goals.

• Identify the unhelpful behaviors that contribute to their hopelessness and helplessness.

• Develop coping skills to deal with the symptoms and problems and identify or prevent future episodes of depression.

For psychotherapy to work, the patient needs to be actively involved in every session.

The two most common evidence-based therapies for depression are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT).

1.      CBT is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. It helps patients to identify negative thinking, change behaviors that might make depression worse, and interact with others in more positive ways. CBT is one of the most effective treatments for depression and has been found to be useful for all ages: children, adolescents, adults, and older people. The benefits of CBT continue long after treatment has ended.

2.      IPT focuses on you and your relationships with other people. It is based on the idea that personal relationships are at the center of psychological problems. IPT helps patients resolve or adapt to troubling life events, build social skills, and organize their relationships to strengthen the support for coping with depressive symptoms and life stressors.

Living with depression can be overwhelming at times which is why persons seek help from mental health experts. Working with a mental health expert in a therapeutic relationship Counselling provides you with a safe environment to identify the thoughts, feelings, and patterns of behavior that are contributing to your symptoms. The question is, how do you find the right mental health expert for you? Finding the right counselor, psychologist or mental health expert to work with may take some time. The relationship between patient and expert is key to the success of the therapy. You may find that you need to see a few people before finding someone you trust. If you are unsure of where to look, a good place to start is with your doctor or you can also contact any mental health facility in your area. They will most likely know of experts close to you that provide therapy for depression. For example, if you are from the Baltimore area, the Lartey Wellness Group would be recommended. They are known for always going above and beyond to ensure that their patients are offered treatment plans and therapy sessions that are tailored to address their unique needs and concerns. Their main goal is to help patients manage their depression so that they can regain control of their life.

How Social Anxiety Disorder Therapy is Important

By Brianna Boyd

WHAT IS SOCIAL ANXIETY?

Social anxiety is a mental health condition where people have an irrational fear when it comes to interacting with others socially. They might get embarrassed or feel self-conscious around others in certain social situations. Those who suffer from social anxiety may experience fear of situations where they might be judged, humiliated, or where they might possibly offend someone. They may fear to talk with or speaking in front of others. Social anxiety causes people who suffer from it, to shy away from people. They might be introverted and avoid large groups of people. All of these aspects of social anxiety can wreak havoc on one’s life and really affect a person’s quality of life.

CAN SOCIAL ANXIETY BE TREATED?

Thankfully, with the proper treatment, social anxiety can be subdued. Social anxiety can be treated with medication. Anti-depressants can provide a rapid solution for people and alleviate their symptoms and help functionality return. Medication, however, is only one part of the treatment. Medication by itself does not fully resolve a person’s social anxiety. It also does not provide people with the tools they need to effectively cope with any remaining issues that stem from one’s social anxiety. Anti-depression Counseling also helps a person understand any underlying issues they may have that has led to one’s struggle with social anxiety.

WHAT IS THE BEST TREATMENT FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY?

Social anxiety disorder is often associated with experiences of trauma—most specifically childhood emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Consequently, for some people, social anxiety may be a manifestation of deeper psychological wounding. Medication cannot and will not be able to automatically heal a person from their traumas or give them the tools they need to truly recover. People’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs do not change just because they are taking medication. The only thing that can help change those negative thought patterns is therapist Baltimore MD.

WHY THERAPY IS ESSENTIAL FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY

Medication by itself is not enough to properly treat social anxiety. Because of this, therapy plays a vital role in a person’s recovery. Therapy provides one with a safe space to understand their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and traumas. It also helps one learn the skills they need to help them make the proper changes to overcome their social anxiety. There are different types of therapy that can help a person deal with and overcome their social anxiety Counseling Near Silver Spring.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR THERAPY (CBT) has been beneficial in reversing negative behavioral and emotional patterns. Studies have shown the CBT is actually more helpful than medication and its effects last even after treatment has stopped. By undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy, one can have a better outcome and avoid the unwanted side effects of medication. It is a well-known fact that medication can sometimes stop working. With CBT, people are taught skills that they can take with them even after they stop going to therapy altogether. Many mental health professionals agree that cognitive-behavioral therapy should be the first step of treatment for social anxiety disorder. Medication should come last as a supplemental treatment.

CBT is not the only form of therapy that can help treat social anxiety disorder. Some others include:

Psychodynamic Therapy: this type of therapy helps one understand more deeply how interpersonal relationships, early childhood experiences, and unconscious processes affect a person’s emotional and behavioral patterns.

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR): EDMR is beneficial in helping people with social anxiety disorder overcome rumination and cope with anxiety-producing stimuli.

Somatic Experiencing: Somatic experiencing helps one to restore their alignment of the autonomic nervous system by the release of destructive energy and the promotion of emotional, physical, and behavioral self-regulation.

Group Therapies: Group therapy that is geared towards one’s unique needs can be exceptionally helpful for one’s understanding of the processes of psychological distress. Having the support of others who know exactly what another person is experiencing is helpful in allowing that person to understand that they are not alone. Group therapy also gives people the opportunity to get comfortable socializing in a safe environment.

All of these therapies allow for a person to understand more deeply the effect of social anxiety disorder on their life. It also allows for that person to develop the proper tools for coping with their social anxiety and any underlying issues or trauma.

SOCIAL ANXIETY AS A BARRIER

Social anxiety can sometimes cause people to avoid seeking treatment. Intensive residential care is sometimes the best way for a person to get over that barrier and feel comfortable again. Seeking out treatment once a week, in an intimate setting can help one avoid falling too deep into the disorder and keep one from feeling overwhelmed. Taking part in one of the therapies above and working with a compassionate clinician can help one establish trust and a meaningful relationship that will transcend their life and condition.

More Than An Athlete: Benefits of College Sports

On the surface, I think college sports can seem like a waste of time and effort to some people, especially if that athlete is not continuing their sport at the professional level. It is very hard to see the long-term benefits of making that type of commitment in college if they have no intention of a career out of it in the future. While some people may agree with those statements, I want to briefly discuss some of the underlying benefits of college sports that most collegiate athletes would probably agree with me on.

I’ve seen plenty of my fellow student-athletes find job opportunities through athletics by simply making connections through their athletic department or other departments within the NCAA. Having prior college athletics experience can lead to opportunities in coaching, personal training, sports information, becoming a director of athletics, or even working directly within the NCAA.

Whether an athlete is working in sports or not, they have still developed very transferable skills while playing their sport. Time management is probably one of the most important skills in being a student-athlete. Balancing practice, games/meets/matches, class, homework, jobs, clubs, and social life can all be valuable in the workplace (if they’re each done well of course). Being able to effectively handle all of these responsibilities can show employers that you are capable of effectively taking on a number of different tasks at once. This is why it is also just as important to be involved in different things on and off campus to show your versatility.

Teamwork is also a very transferable skill in the workplace. Being a part of a sports team can exemplify how well a person can work with others. Even being a captain of a team can show employers that a person has leadership qualities and can take on important roles in the workplace.

Many college sports teams also do a good job of giving back to the community. Quality coaches will organize service days for their teams and do some type of community service a few times a year. It is important that student-athletes note these experiences when applying for jobs, while also capitalizing on these days of service by giving back to the community on their own time. Joining clubs on campus that facilitate these types of events are great ways to get involved. Some of these clubs are even exclusively made for student-athletes (and if you don’t have one, you could always make one).

I think it’s important that student-athletes recognize their value before it’s too late. Many of them have been given the label of “college athlete” for so long that it becomes the only thing they identify themselves as. Then, by the time they realize that the student-athlete life won’t last forever, it’s too late. It’s crucial that all student-athletes understand that they’re more than that, and that they must find their own identity outside of their respective sport.

Is College Really Worth It?

In this day and age, there are plenty of debates about whether college is necessary to further your career. With many jobs becoming obsolete because of computers, apprenticeships, entrepreneurs, and lower demands for college education, many careers don’t require college educations.

Now this is not to say that a college degree (associate’s, bachelor’s, master’s, doctorate, etc.) isn’t valuable. I think it all depends on a person’s career path. For years we’ve seen just as many people drop out of college or even completely skip college and have successful careers, as we’ve seen college graduates become successful in their field of interest.

Athletes like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James completely skipped college and went straight to the NBA out of high school. Both of them have now gone on to receive multi-million dollar endorsements and have even started to pursue their own business ventures. Even some of our most notable creators in technology like Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college before pursuing their own creative ideas. But what do these four men have in common? They were all able to find their niche, figure out the means to pursue it, and capitalize on their success. For Kobe and LeBron, their niche was playing the game of basketball. Their means to pursue the highest level of basketball (the NBA) did not require a college education (at least not until 2006). For Jobs and Zuckerberg, they were able to find their niche in computer/software programming and engineering. At that time, the means to pursue the field did not directly require them to complete their college education. As a result, they were both able to make technological advancements that were revolutionary.

While pursuing your passion is the one of the most rewarding feelings, I think finding that passion may be the most difficult for some. It’s much easier to make the next step towards your goals if you have direction, but if you don’t, you may be stuck finding out what you were put on this earth to do. On the other side, some people have their passion figured out, but lack the resources to pursue it. Maybe they can’t afford college, or can’t afford to purchase the tools they need to succeed.

At the end of the day, there really doesn’t seem to be a set blueprint on how much education you need to further your career. It also seems like society is beginning to push the importance of college education to the side, especially with the rise in tuition prices and the rise of people building their own businesses. So whatever career path a person should choose, I think it’s important to find your niche and do whatever you can to be the best qualified man or woman for the job.

Post-Grad Depression: Is it Real?

It has been about two months since I have graduated from undergrad, and I definitely believe that the idea of post-grad depression can truly exist for some people. While graduating from college is a tremendous accomplishment, it can also be very difficult and fearful for young adults. Graduation is a transitional period in most people’s lives. Moving on from college life into the real world can be smooth and exciting for some, but very slow and stressful for others.

Like most transitional periods in a person’s life, they require a lot of self-reflection and finding yourself. Most graduates are now seeking out their true identity and purpose within the world. With all of the freedoms and options that come with graduating college, it can also be just as difficult to pinpoint exactly what path to take.

Post-grad life also comes with a complete change in one’s lifestyle. During the four years (or more) of college, most students are always busy and constantly on the move. Whether its going from class to class, working, playing a sport, or doing homework, students are constantly practicing time management. Most (but not all) students also have many of their essential and basic needs paid for. Some may be on full or partial scholarships to attend their college or university, have meal plans, and/or have their room and board paid for by their parents. For the most part, students’ lives are also constructed within the confines of their campus. Their is little need for them to leave the campus, or stray to far from it. That can also leave them out of touch with reality, or at least what’s going in the rest of the world.

In real life however, this lifestyle is drastically different. Most graduates are moving back home or moving into their own place. Some may have too much free time, while others are now on a set schedule about five days a week with their new careers. A lot of graduates are also transitioning from having a lot of their essentials paid for, to beginning to pay bills and provide for themselves (even though most of us are still broke). They may be moving away from friends they had in college, or even be drifting away from the isolation they had so much of while living on a college campus. Even more graduates are preparing for the transition to grad school or possibly planning for it in the future.

These change can be both drastic and pivotal for young adults. The position/situation a graduate is in now may not be the same one they are in within the next year or two. Everyone has a different path, no path is better than the next, and none of these paths are set in stone (at least this is what I try to assure myself). I just think it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in dealing with the process.

Psychology in the Sports World

Oftentimes, athletic sports are not considered to be very “mental” games. Instead, we think of mental games as strategy-based; games that require the most focus and require players to think steps ahead of their opponent (chess, checkers, etc.). It is very rare that physically demanding sports like football, soccer, and basketball are believed to be equally as demanding psychologically. As a former college track & field athlete, these beliefs are far from the truth. I have seen first hand how sports that require peak physical performance are a product of being mentally prepared as well.

The mental toll athletes deal with doesn’t just begin on the day of competition. In fact, it traces all the way back to the long hours of training that lead up to it. Training for hours, days, weeks, and months at a time can be difficult. Early morning workouts, two-a-days (or even three-a-days if you’re lucky), thousands of repetitions, and still finding the time/energy to get through the day can only be successfully completed with a resilient mind and motivated attitude. These athletes are constantly pushing their bodies and minds to the limit to get positive results.

Even as recently as last year, we’ve seen top tier professional athletes like Kevin Love and DeMar Derozan come out about their dealings with anxiety and depression. In turn, we’ve seen the rise in demand for sports psychologists and other mental health experts in the professional sports world. Even colleges are beginning to see its importance. The narratives that “pro athletes are making too much money to be depressed” and “as a famous athlete you have to be thick-skinned” are slowly starting to die down. More and more sports fans are beginning to understand that these athletes are real people who go through real mental problems.

Anybody still skeptical? Well think about this: As anyone who has played sports in their lifetime, what kind of space were you in mentally when you had your best performances? What were you thinking about? Most people will say that they in fact, had an absence of thought. Their mind was focused on nothing but the task at hand, with little to no distractions. If this is true for any of you, you were most likely practicing mindfulness. This is an instance where a person focuses the mind on being present and aware of what is going on at that exact moment, while also eliminating distractions. This practice is very common in meditation, another skill that sports psychologists and other mental health specialists alike use to help their clients both focus and relieve stress.

If mindfulness has helped you perform at your best, it’s reasonable to assume that some of your worst performances were due to lack of focus. Maybe your mind was elsewhere, or you were flooded with different thoughts and emotions at that time. This same feeling can happen to all of us, even the greatest athletes in the world. So who’s to say sports aren’t mental games?